i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
