If i come over, it means nothing
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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