the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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