HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
