We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
