I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
