I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
