yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize