i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
