He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
