9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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