how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
