jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
