there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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