i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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