He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
