i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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