she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
