my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
