i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
