if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Come on in and take your pants off
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