in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
