so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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