You're my little dorito
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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