So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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