While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
