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oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
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