i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night