i think i have two assholes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
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diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.