I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
