if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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