at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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