Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
