Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
