am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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