is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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