He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
