I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
