did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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