Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
