The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every concussion has its silver lining
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
