There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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