Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it because I queefed?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
