I would go down on you faster than GM stock
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize