found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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