pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
