I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
True but thats because hes a fetus.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
