i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Found your dick twin last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
