Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
