ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
