Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
