What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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