i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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