hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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