The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
