she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
