We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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