now i know why i became what i already was.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I could fuck to npr.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It all started with a game of naked twister.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
