yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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