Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
