did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
