Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
