there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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